haven't been updating...

lately... there's a lot of things going thru my mind...

I happen to find out that I am quite a god counseller on relationship, but it seems that for my own relationship, I have been the one screwing it...

I ask myself, did I really put down my past?

I used to say yes when I am with jamie, but now I realised,
actually NO...

I only realised this when I am always found at the beaches despite the haze (lolz)...

I dunno...

now I like a girl...
but my friend also like her...

i think she knows that i like her...

but something is stopping me...

i dunno...

mayb is becoz, I am not confident..

mayb I dun trust relationship anymore...

mayb i know that my friend like her too so I just step back...

I find myself to b like a hermit crab...
always in the shell...

hahaha...
Sorry to all my friends...

I know u guys know that I am always hiding myself...
I dunno why...

I really hope that I am just like justin, chris, eunice or whoever...
as they will at least tell others their feelings, their inner self stuf...

But for me, I dunno why I can't...

mayb i dun trust humans...

when I am young I talk to the stars...

I dunno why...

but now, when I grow older, I talk to the lord but at times,
I really dunno how to say...
I just cry...

I break down quite easily...

I am emotionally very weak...

but i dunno...

when ppl ask me m i ok?

I will say OK...

even if I am not...

I feel that I am becoming more n more distant to all my friends...

I can feel it...
I dun wan to go back to my past...

but i know that i haven put down my past...

I haven been going class this week...

I dunno why...

as after my stuff, actually i still can go class even though i will b late like an hr late but i choose not...

i can't understand myself now...

is this part of growing up?