Wednesday, October 24, 2007

MY LAST MYSELF POST HERE...

Somehow I no longer understand myself...

It is not the amount of stress that I am handling now...

As I think it is nothing...

But somehow or rather...
I still can't get over my little past.

I want to get out of it but dunno how...

It had been years...

I really thought I am okay... recovered...
I even keep telling myself I am okay,
deceiving myself...

At times I cant take it...
I dunno...

Maybe I need help this time...

My mind is confused...
Emotion is once again into my life...

This will be the last post that I will post here about my emotion.
I will have a space that I will not disclosed...

Sorry people, I need my private space now on.

Thank you for your understanding.


REGARDS

JACKY WINSON SIM

depression

What is depression?

When doctors talk about depression, they mean the medical illness called major depression. Someone with major depression has symptoms like those listed in the box below nearly every day, all day, for 2 weeks or longer.

If you're depressed, you may also have headaches, other aches and pains, digestive problems and problems with sex. An older person with depression may feel confused or have trouble understanding simple requests.



Symptoms of depression

  • No interest or pleasure in things you used to enjoy
  • Feeling sad or empty
  • Crying easily or crying for no reason
  • Feeling slowed down or feeling restless and unable to sit still
  • Feeling worthless or guilty
  • Weight gain or loss
  • Thoughts about death or suicide
  • Trouble thinking, recalling things or focusing on what you're doing
  • Trouble making everyday decisions
  • Problems sleeping, especially in the early morning, or wanting to sleep all of the time
  • Feeling tired all of the time
  • Feeling numb emotionally, perhaps even to the point of not being able to cry


What causes depression?

Depression seems to be related to a chemical imbalance in the brain that makes it hard for the cells to communicate with one another. Depression also seems to be genetic (to run in families).

Depression can be linked to events in your life, such as the death of someone you love, a divorce or job loss. Taking certain medicines, abusing drugs or alcohol, or having other illnesses can also lead to depression. Depression isn't caused by personal weakness, laziness or lack of willpower.


How is depression diagnosed?

If you're having symptoms of depression, be sure to tell your doctor so you can get help. Don't expect your doctor to be able to guess that you're depressed just by looking at you. The sooner you seek treatment, the sooner the depression will lift.

Once you tell your doctor how you're feeling, he or she may ask you some questions about your symptoms, about your health and about your family history of health problems. Your doctor may also give you a physical exam and do some tests.


How is depression treated?

Depression can be treated with medicines, or a special type of counseling called psychotherapy, or with both.


What about medicines?

Many medicines can be used to treat depression. These medicines are called antidepressants. They correct the chemical imbalance in the brain that causes depression.

Antidepressants work differently for different people. They also have different side effects. So, even if one medicine bothers you or doesn't work for you, another may help. You may notice improvement as soon as 1 week after you start taking the medicine. But you probably won't see the full effects for about 6 to 8 weeks. You may have side effects at first but they tend to lessen after a couple of weeks.

How long will I need medicine?

How long you'll need to take the medicine depends on your depression. Your doctor may want you to take medicine for 4 to 6 months or longer. You need to take the medicine long enough to reduce the chance that the depression will come back. Talk with your doctor about any questions you have about your medicine


What is psychotherapy?

In psychotherapy, you talk with your family doctor, a psychiatrist or a therapist about things that are going on in your life. The focus may be on your thoughts and beliefs or on your relationships. Or the focus may be on your behavior, how it's affecting you and what you can do differently. Psychotherapy often lasts for a limited time, such as 8 to 20 visits.


Will I need to go to the hospital?

Depression can usually be treated through visits to your doctor. Treatment in the hospital may be needed if you have other medical conditions that could affect your treatment or if you're at high risk of suicide.


How long will the depression last?

This depends on how soon you get help. Left untreated, depression can last for weeks, months or even years. The main risk in not getting treatment is suicide. Treatment can help depression lift in 6 to 8 weeks, or less.



Getting through depression

  • Pace yourself. Don't expect to do everything you normally can. Set a realistic schedule.
  • Don't believe all of your negative thinking, such as blaming yourself or expecting to fail. This thinking is part of depression. These thoughts will go away as your depression lifts.
  • Get involved in activities that make you feel good or feel like you've achieved something.
  • Avoid making big life decisions when you're depressed. If you must make a big decision, ask someone you trust to help you.
  • Avoid drugs and alcohol. Both make depression worse. Both can cause dangerous side effects with your antidepressants.
  • Physical activity seems to cause a chemical reaction in the body that may improve your mood. Exercising 4 to 6 times a week for at least 30 minutes each time is a good goal. But even less activity can be helpful.
  • Try not to get discouraged. It will take time for your depression to lift fully.

Suicide

People with depression sometimes think about suicide. This thinking is part of the depression. If you have thoughts about hurting yourself, tell your doctor, friends or family, or call your local suicide hot line, such as the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.

Get help right away. The good news is that there are people who can help you, and depression can be treated.



Reasons to get help for depression

  • Early treatment helps keep depression from getting worse or lasting a long time.
  • Thoughts of suicide are common in people with depression. The risk of suicide is higher if you don't get treatment for your depression. When depression is successfully treated, the thoughts of suicide will go away.
  • Treatment can help you return to your "normal" self, enjoying life.
  • Treatment can help prevent depression from coming back.



Damn it...

I think I am having DEPRESSION.

I hope not...

nvmd...

Sunday, October 14, 2007

chinese quizzzzzz...

1.以下这三种动物,哪一样是你最喜爱的?
(a)猫    (b)鸟    (c)狗
(答案在下面...不要偷看唷...)

Ans: (c)狗

2. 你最喜爱什麼颜色?
(a)粉红色  (b)白色   (c)黑色
(答案在下面...不要偷看...)

Ans: )黑色

3.列举一个与你相同性别的人之名字
(答案在下面...不要偷看...)

Ans: -someone-

4. 列举一个与你相反性别的人之名字
(答案在下面...不要偷看...)

Ans: -someone-

5. 你较喜欢山脉,还是海滩?
(答案在下面...不要偷看...)

Ans: 海滩

6. 你喜欢看日出,还是日落?
(答案在下面...不要偷看...)

Ans: 日落

7. 由一至十中,你最喜欢哪个数目字?
(答案在下面...不要偷看...)

Ans: 6

8. 你最喜欢什麼植物?
(a)红玫瑰  (b)蕨类植物 (c)已经枯萎的植物
(答案在下面...不要偷看...)

Ans: (b)蕨类植物

9 你最喜欢哪个季节?
(a)春季   (b)冬季   (c)夏季
(答案在下面...不要偷看...)

Ans: (b)冬季

10. 默许两个愿望
(答案在下面...不要偷看...)

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

解答:

1.(解答)
(a)猫:你最爱你自己
(b)鸟:你喜欢听你自己的谈话
(c)狗:你把别人看得比自己还重

2.(解答)
(a)粉红色:你是豪放派的人
(b)白色:你是正统派的人
(c)黑色:你是生活在边缘的人

3.(解答)
他/她是你的幸运之星

4.(解答)
你将与他/她成为非常非常亲密的朋友

5.(解答)
(a)山脉:会早婚
(b)海滩:会晚婚

6.(解答)
(a)日出:你是一个似早晨的人且你得到更多
的任务完成
(b)日落:你是一个浪漫的人且你那缓慢地迷
恋的时候到了

7.(解答)
你所选出来的号码代表你在找到真命天子之前
谈过的变爱
次数

8.(解答)
(a)红玫瑰:你的生活是完美的,可是有时候
会多剌而令
人苦恼
(b)蕨类植物:你的生活将是可预言的,且会
稳健平安
(c)已经枯萎的植物:你是一个有病的人,生
活如一滩死水

9.(解答)
(a)春季:你是一个无法自拔的浪漫主义者
(b)冬季:你是一个坚持善良的人
(c)夏季:你是一个对任何事物皆坦率的人

10.(解答)
如果你将此页发给
(a)一个人:你的第一个愿望将会实现
(b)五个人:你的两个愿望皆会实现
(c)十个人或是更多的人:两个愿望将会在两
天内实现。

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Ignore me...

For some reason which I dunno.
I have been feeling not right lately.

A lot of emotions had been gushing within me.
I saw flashback that I always wanted to put down.
For some reason I can't.

I dunno, how much longer can I take it.

At times, I feel like ending it...
But for some reason, I hold back...

I need to breathe...
I wanted to hide myself...

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Fucked

Health haven't been okay.
And more arrows are being shot.

I am tired.
Tired of this arrowing shooting game.

At times like this, my body really cannot take it.
Today I am on MC.
Went to the polyclinic to see the doctor.

Then he was like saying, ur heatbeat is fast.
I was like saying okay.

At first he wanted to refer me to hospital but I ask dun need.
As tmr I will have my medical appointment at National Heart Centre.

I dislike the way that I am now.
I dislike the things that I do.

Even if I am doing video or 3d now, I think I will also dislike it.
As it is because I am just doing it for the sake of doing.
I dun wan to be a slave that follows idea.

Fucked it.
I am a guy who cares not the rank but quality.

My body is very sick and tired.

I dun noe whether how long this war will end.
I do not know.

I wish that it will end early with an ending that I wanted.

But in this organization, I believe otherwise.
But no matter what.

Unless now is the end of my life,
I will still continue to fight my way thru this war.

Fucked, why am I so emo.
damn it.

Sunday, September 30, 2007

Jacky for dunno what reason, I have been rather emo.

Fuck la.

There's a lot of emotion running thru my mind.
I dun noe why.

And my body is tired and sick.

My mind is tired and gloomy.

I wish that I am okay.

I dun wan to get depression...

ROARRRRRR...

jacky is still normal.

Saturday, September 22, 2007

rant

hmmm

Dunno why... Lately I have been feeling DARK.
Wa Lao dun tell me the emo me is coming back...

Well, had been busy busy busy in camp.
To all my friends out there (this inclusive my platoon or mayb coy mates)
Good luck on ur next journey of national service.

I might want to get myself excuse from night duties as scary.
As I dun like small and dark spaces.
It is a horror.
ya i got Claustrophobia.

Health is just okay lately.

But I have been thinking alot lately.
especially my past.

haiz
ok
I better not rant so much.





Bastet



You look for balance and harmony, anxious, devoted. Often rash and impatient.

Colors: male: yellow ochre, female: grey
Compatible Signs:
Sekhmet, Horus
Dates:
Jul 14 - Jul 28, Sep 23 - Sep 27, Oct 3 - Oct 17

Role: Goddess of cats, women, and secrets
Appearance:
Cat or cat-headed woman
Sacred animals:
cat


What is Your Egyptian Zodiac Sign?
Designed by CyberWarlock of Warlock's Quizzles and Quandaries

The Caitiff









You aren't sure where you came from. Perhaps your sire did an embrace and run. Or maybe your sire was an outcast himself. Either way, your powers are unique and really don't belong to any clan...or maybe a little from each. Because you of these circumstances, you aren't really sure where you belong. You tend to wander and do a bit of soul searching in your eternal life. Maybe some day...you have a while after all.

What Vampire Clan Do You Belong To?

The Caitiff

The clansless. Caitiffs, are a new aspect to the vampire's society. They don't have anyone to teach them Disciplines, and no one to tell them of the Traditions. This doesn't mean they don't know any Disciplines, they could very well make their own, but usually they figure out a few small tricks to a few Disciplines. Some may even group together every once in a while, but not likely. They prefer their freedom, and the will to do what they will.

Caitiff are vampires with no clan to call their own. This usually happens because their sire despised them and left them to die. And the occasional victim of feeding gets lucky, and some how gets some of the vampires blood. They are also the rebellious ones, and some take leave of their sire and do as they will, most of the time moving to a new city or some where remote.

Most of the other clans look upon the Caitiff as trash, weak blooded, no knowledge of who and what they are and leave them to them selves as long as they don't cause any trouble, and most defiantly don't break the Masquerade.

Your Japanese Name Is...

Shuichi Inoue




Jacky Winson Sim Soon Heng


Your Japanese Name Is...

Yo Inoue
What's your Japanese Name?

Sim Soon Heng Jacky Winson

So which one is my japanese name?
hmmmmmm

Gently Leading

Gently Leading
TGIF Today God Is First, by Os Hillman

So let my lord go on ahead of his servant, while I move along slowly at the pace of the droves before me and that of the children, until I come to my lord in Seir. - Genesis 33:14

Business often determines that we move at a pace that can put incredible stresses upon people and relationships. Jacob was a man who learned to manipulate and control outcomes. He even stole the birthright of his brother, Esau, through trickery. The Bible speaks of Jacob as a man who strived with God. He knew how to force situations to his advantage. It took years for God to break down all the rough edges of Jacob so that he could be worthy of becoming the patriarch of the 12 tribes of Israel. God saw something in Jacob that He could use.

Most men go through a "warrior stage" of life. In this stage of manhood, the man is known by what he does, what he accomplishes, and he is totally defined by his performance. It can be a tumultuous time for the man and those close to him. It is often signified by broken relationships because the goal is often more important than the way the goal is accomplished. When I meet with a man, I can easily determine what stage of life he is in by hearing him talk.

Jacob had successfully passed through his warrior stage based on the verse above. It takes someone mature to be able to "move along slowly at the pace of the droves before me and that of the children." Leaders who never come to understand this may be successful materially but fail at the most important aspect of leadership-leading at a pace that his followers can maintain. The roads are full of wives, children, and workers who cannot keep up with the pace of leaders and are left behind with broken dreams, broken hearts, and unfulfilled promises.

Are you a person who is more concerned with outcome than how you achieve the outcome? Can the people around you describe you as someone who leads at a pace that ensures respect and admiration? Ask the Lord for the ability to be a godly leader who understands the condition of his flock and the pace in which you can lead without alienating.

Sunday, September 09, 2007

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Thursday, August 23, 2007

quiz







You are 60% likeable
You are a likeable person. You are fiercely loyal to your friends and you have a lot of them. You have may have a few enemies but it is only because they don't really know the real you.

'How Likeable are You?' at QuizGalaxy.com




The Picto-Personality Test




You are a person who is incredibly tranquil and values peace above all else.

When alone, you appreciate being able to do nothing if you want to, and setting your own pace for things.

You are intelligent. You use your time to its fullest potential and will go very far in life.

In the future you will be happy and live richly.

Take this Test at QuizGalaxy.com








Your Dating Style:
Honest Relationship (Self-Directed)


You like to have an honest relationship with someone. You may or may not be faithful, but you would always tell them what's going on with you.





'What is your dating style?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Friday, August 10, 2007

100807

Today is my First day to report to HQ GUARDS.
It is like a good 45 mins bus trip (969, 171).
Very sianz...

The people there that I have met today are really friendly.
As all the bosses are on leave so I don't get to see a lot.

Well I really wonder, I also stay in the office over here, like Tekong.
But why time flies faster over here...

hmmmm...
I dunno...

I am happy about this posting as it is a stay out one and is a 8am to 5.30pm one.
5-days week.
=)

Thank GOD for this posting as I actually tell myself on that wed morning that if I dun get post out by this week, the national day book in I will bring in 2 packs of cigarettes. hahaha... But seems that GOD wanted me to quit badly... I mean I have quit it like long ago... HE wanted me to not touch cigarettes. haha...

But my BIGGEST worry about this camp is SNAKES.

People who know me will know that I have phobia with water and snake.

hahhahahaa....

okok... that's all....

Thursday, August 09, 2007

national day


HAPPY 42nd BIRTHDAY TO SINGAPORE.

"Majulah Singapura" (Onward Singapore)

Words by: Zubir Said
Music by: Zubir Said
Adopted: 1965

MALAY LYRICS

Mari kita rakyat Singapura
Sama-sama menuju bahagia
Cita-cita kita yang mulia
Berjaya Singapura

Marilah kita bersatu
Dengan semangat yang baru
Semua kita berseru
Majulah Singapura
Majulah Singapura

---
ENGLISH TRANSLATION

Come, fellow Singaporeans
Let us progress towards happiness together
May our noble aspiration bring
Singapore success

Come, let us unite
In a new spirit
Let our voices soar as one
Onward Singapore
Onward Singapore

The National Anthem was written in the wake of nationalism during 1956-57. Its composer and author, Zubir Said, had written it on the basis of two words, "Majulah Singapura" or "Onward Singapore" (the national motto). The patriotic song was first performed on December 3, 1959, at the installation of the new head of state and the introduction of the state (later national) flag. The anthem was used as a state song within Malaysia, of which it was a part, and was adopted as a national anthem in 1965 upon independence.

In 2000, the anthem underwent a slight change in that the official arrangement was made more solemn and inspiring. The new version, arranged by Phoon Yew Tien, had its debut at the Victoria Concert Hal in November of that year and was officially unveiled in January, 2001.

Although Singapore has four official languages (Malay, English, Mandarin Chinese, and Tamil), the anthem is only to be sung in the original Malay lyrics, not any translation. (As such, the English translation is presented here, as on other anthem pages, as a guide for reader comprehension only.)





The Causes of Failure

TGIF Today God Is First, by Os Hillman


You cannot stand against your enemies until you remove it. - Joshua 7:13b

The first battle for the people of Israel traveling from Egypt was at Jericho, once they crossed the Jordan River. God had given them a great victory at Jericho, and Joshua was now ready to move to their next battle at Ai. After they spied out the enemy camp, they determined they needed only a few thousand men to gain victory. They went up against Ai only to fail miserably. They lost 32 men in a battle that should have been an easy victory, but instead they were forced to retreat. Joshua was devastated. "Ah, Sovereign Lord, why did You ever bring this people across the Jordan to deliver us into the hands of the Amorites to destroy us?" (Josh. 7:7a)

In this case, the people fell short because they failed to uphold the standard God had set for them. God had told them not to take any plunder from their first battle. However, Achan hid some forbidden treasures, and God was now judging the entire nation for one man's sin.

Whenever we act without God's complete blessing on our activity, we can expect God to thwart our plans. God's word to Joshua was that he could not stand against his enemies as long as there was disobedience among his troops.

Whenever we launch a business endeavor, we should make sure there are no unclean things in our dealings that would allow us to be vulnerable to a failed effort: unpaid vendors, disgruntled employees who were not treated fairly, lawsuits, dishonesty. Many of these things can hinder God from blessing our enterprises. These things can remove the shield of protection from our workplace, which God wants to bless, but cannot because He is committed to upholding righteousness. His name is blemished when unrighteousness is allowed to permeate our lives.

Is the Lord able to bless your enterprises today? If not, you may need to go back and clean up a few things before He can do so. Take whatever steps are needed to ensure the blessing of God today.

Sunday, August 05, 2007